Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
