Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
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one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
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Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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