I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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