Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
