How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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