I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
