You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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