wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
