Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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