Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize