Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
