So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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