remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
