The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
