either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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