you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
