dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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