I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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