I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
