I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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