The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize