everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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