I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I believe in your delicious
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
