I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
