did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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