i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I sprained my soul last night
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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