My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
