WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
