No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
