There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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