She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
