remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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