This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
