Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
