The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
