Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
