I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
