Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Pooping to opera.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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