ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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