PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
