her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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