you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
