I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
someone owes me an orgasm
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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