Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
