I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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