And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
