I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
