Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
