I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
