I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Floor bacon is actually really good
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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