I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
