If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
