Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
