You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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