My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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