You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
