hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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