How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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