the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
